Tiromancy (Brian Katcher)

 

Tiromancy: The art of predicting the future using cheese.

There. Most obscure word I could think of. I've always been fascinated by useless trivia, odd facts, and obsolete words. I was probably the only eighth grader who could drop pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoiosis into a sentence. While that proved ineffective in the pursuit of girls, it did manage to get my letter to the editor printed in a 1988 issue of MAD Magazine.

I nearly got beat up in fifth grade for calling a kid a homo sapiens. I'd freak my sister out by telling her that her epidermis was showing. I once calmed my wife down before surgery by offering to schuflatzel for her amusement.

Maybe that's why I became a writer. I wanted to put my odd vocabulary to work. That and no one will play Scrabble with me anymore.

Or maybe I like to use strange words because I'm condescending (that means I talk down to people).