Do As I Say, Not As I Do (Mary Strand)
This
month is all about advice for writers and wannabe writers: how we’ve screwed up,
and wish we hadn’t, and hope you don’t.
My
favorite quote on this topic comes from Dorothy Parker:
If you have any young friends who aspire to
become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present
them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
I can’t improve on that, but I can offer my own
top-10 list.
10. If a
friend asks you to serve on the Board of Directors of a large writers’
organization, run screaming in the other direction. (You may also want to take
that friend off your holiday-card list, but unfriending them on social media
seems excessive.) I lost two years of my life and a chunk of my soul while
serving on the Board of Directors of Romance Writers of America, reminding me
of the life-sucking machine in the Pit of Despair in The Princess Bride.
Yes, I met some fantastic friends on the RWA Board. Still: run.
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| If you haven't seen The Princess Bride, what are you waiting for? |
9. Say yes. Sure, some opportunities are crazy (see Board of Directors, above), but don’t make excuses or say no without at least considering them.
8. Cultivate
writer friendships. Other writers UNDERSTAND. Your spouse or partner or
family or nonwriting friends often don’t. Also, writers tend to appreciate fruity
cocktails, but your mileage may vary.
7. Be polite
and kind to others. You don’t want to get a reputation for being a diva or
jerk, but it’s bigger than that. YOU will be happier.
6. Don’t let
rejection stop you. There’s SO MUCH rejection in the writing business, it
can make you avoid sending out queries. (Hoo, boy.) Send them out anyway. Keep
sending. Administer chocolate or wine as necessary. I sometimes spray liquid
sage in my office after receiving rejections, to remove the stench of
negativity that the rat bastards who rejected me have inflicted on the sanctity
of my work space. Oh, did I say that out loud? J
5. Move on.
If your agent isn’t right, you know it. But you avoid taking action, because
getting rid of the wrong person means restarting a search for the right person,
which will undoubtedly involve more rejection. But like in any relationship,
being alone is WAY better than being with the wrong person. You get sole
possession of the remote control of your life.
4. Keep
writing, despite everything. You’ll keep getting better. I promise.
3. Write
what calls to you. Yeah, yeah, people argue over writing to the market vs.
writing the book of your heart. If writing to the market calls to you, go for
it. But the best book you can write is the one that comes from YOU. Yes, it may
be harder to sell, but when the right person finds it, it’ll be worth it. (AT
LEAST I HOPE SO, DAMN IT.)
2. Always do
your best. This advice comes from one of my favorite books, The Four
Agreements. What I love about the advice is this: always do your best, but based on who and where you
are in the moment. If you’re depressed or sick or just found out that your
movie-star crush really DOESN’T love you (mine does, however), your best on
that day may not be all that. Do what you can, when you can. And on days that
you simply can’t, go to a movie or read a book or listen to music. Refill the well.
1. Don’t
beat yourself up. Life is short. You’re going to screw up or fail, just
like everyone else. Things aren’t going to go your way. There is no avoiding
this. Be gentle. Say the things to yourself that you’d say to a friend who’s
struggling. And have a cookie.
Number one is something I still find myself working on. ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteWe all do!
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