Fear by Sydney Salter

I'm afraid of not getting another chance at publishing success--

I have spent the weekend at the Women Writing The West conference virtually from Portland, Oregon. No Powell's book buying spree 😢 I love this congenial group of ladies (and a few men) who tell stories about women who live west of the Mississippi. 

After so many great craft sessions, I am feeling so inspired about my stories. I have notes for a BIG revision on one project, thanks to a roundtable critique and a comment made by a speaker that made me realize that I was forcing a plot point that simply needs to go. I took notes about the NaNoWriMo story that I am planning for next month. I thought about the messy novel that is currently resting--and made some notes for the character swap I'm planning in that story. 

I am ready to write!!!! I am super excited about my stories. 

But I also heard that it's tough out there right now to get published--for all kinds of reasons. And I suck at social media. Really, I suck at enjoying social media. I feel really conflicted about what all that time scrolling through feeds does to people, especially my audience (who isn't all that interested in people my age, anyway). I worry that not having a huge following affects my submissions.  

I am a writer who needs to write, and would have stopped long ago if that were possible. I have so many stories that I'm excited to tell. And it's the only thing I want to do. Right now I work as a Small Claims Court Mediator--because all the people feed my storytelling. Everything I do seems to end with "so I can write about it."

Is that enough? Loving the writing. 

That's my super honest fear: that the novels I've already had published will be the only novels published in spite of writing many many more. 

In the meantime, I am going to shove my fears aside and keep working on my craft. Writing and writing and writing.