Sloth Never Made Anyone a Star (Mary Strand)

This month at YA Outside the Lines, we’re talking about resolution.

I confess I don't have the faintest idea what that means in the context of novels. Resolution of the conflicts that drive the story? Who knows?

So I will blithely ignore this month's topic and talk instead about life. And goals. And dreams. And joy.

I have a million goals and to-do's and deadlines: daily, weekly, annually. Yes, no one had a gun to my head when I signed up for this life, but it's running me ragged. Once again, I didn't have a summer. Or, okay, it mostly consisted of driving with the top down on my convertible to recording sessions, meetings, etc. Period. I've been scrambling to record my second album, and two other key players' schedules have prompted me to do this as fast as I can. I've also struggled to get back to writing novels, but I can finally say I've cleared the decks (enough) to be able to write again. Starting this week. Yay!

Someone asked me last week "since I'm self-employed," why I don't just work less and make more time for myself, especially in the summer. Actually, I get questions like that from more than a few people, relating to both my books and my music.

I suspect they wouldn't presume to ask that of Taylor Swift or Nora Roberts.

Also: no one EVER asked me that when I was practicing law, even though as a partner in a law firm, I set my own hours there, too. People just sputter when I point that out. One even declared that music is merely a hobby. (I replied that then her teaching is merely a hobby.)

The truth is that a lot of people, even ones in the arts, don't respect the time (let alone the ambitions) of people in the arts ... or at least they don't if the person in question (like, say, me) isn't raking in the big bucks like Taylor Swift or Nora Roberts.

And don't get me started about the people who ask why I've started a music career at the ripe old age of, er, 39. One even told me I was more "fun" when I didn't work so hard and just hung out with everyone else LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE'S MUSIC. I'm not staying in my own lane, and quite a number of people find that annoying.

I find those people annoying, too.

My dreams are as big as Taylor's or Nora's. Why can't they be?

But I will admit that, yes, I get exhausted by everything I do. I'm mostly talking about music right now, but this applies equally to my novels, although the haters are less likely to whine about me writing novels. (Perhaps novels are less presumptuous of me?)

I was texting with a friend the other night, discussing our inspirational words for the year. Mine for 2024 is "nourish." ha ha ha ha ha. Not so much: it's been a frantic year. But my friend pointed out that I have four months left of the year in which to nourish myself. Even while doing all the things I do.

One way I nourish myself is by doing things I find joyful. As in, JOYFUL, all caps. So last week I waterskied and rollerbladed and went to the Minnesota State Fair and saw Semisonic there and went to Minnehaha Falls (which I love) with some friends. Joy. Every bit of it. (Okay, the waterskiing and rollerblading were tough, because I'm coming back from an injury, but the massive endorphins that flowed through me afterward spelled out J-O-Y.)

So I do need to find joy, and balance, while I continue to act like Sisyphus and push those massive boulders up the unending hill of my life. I need to nourish myself on a daily basis. I also need to surround myself with people who understand that we're all wired differently, and that I HAVE to do this. Even though I'm not selling out stadiums (yet) or hitting the top of the NYT list (yet).

Because I matter just as much as the biggest stars in the constellations.

And, for what it's worth, so do you.

How's that for resolution?

Mary Strand is the author of Pride, Prejudice, and Push-Up Bras and three other novels in the Bennet Sisters YA series. You can find out more about her books and music at marystrand.com.