In Which Stephanie Awkwardly Wishes Herself Happy Birthday

When I picked my usual blog-posting date, I picked the 13th because it's my lucky number and would be easy to remember.... Of course it's my lucky number and is easy to remember because um... I was born on the 13th. So now we have arrived on the particular 13th that is anniversary of when I was born and I suddenly feel like I'm in an awkward position. Should I acknowledge my own birthday or totally ignore it and blog about something else? I'm not one of those people who hates their birthday because it's a reminder of getting old (though I am having some issues with turning 32 this year), but at the same time I'm not usually one of those "Hey look at me, celebrate me, make me the center of attention, ME ME ME!!!!!" kind of people either, so what do I do?

Oh screw it. I've been a little down in the dumps as of late, so I'm gonna go ahead and celebrate my birthday here.

As Cracker sings, "I'm feeling thankful for the small things today. Happy, happy birthday to me and to you!"

Though of all the "Happy Birthday" songs out there, this one by Concrete Blonde is probably my favorite. The singer Johnette Napolitano was totally one of my heroines and fashion inspirations when I was a teenager. I love her style in this video and I feel like the song is quite similar to my mood right now, trying to forget about what's bugging me (writer's block, being broke, feeling like I'm too old to be a starving artist, etc.) and enjoy my day.

Though thirty-two probably seems like a random number to most people--perhaps thirty should have felt more intimidating--it's kind of a big deal to me. The main reason why is kind of too personal to blog about, but we'll just say it involves roads not taken and forces me to wonder sometimes if I chose the right path or if I sacrificed things I'm going to regret later.

But no less significant in my number geek world, thirty two is also double sixteen. Half of my life now, I've been able to drive and to listen to the album ...And Out Come The Wolves by Rancid, which was probably my favorite thing to listen to the year I got my license and one of my friends sent me on vinyl as a present this year. (Yeah, I opened it early, one of the few cool things about being a grown-up. You can eat dessert whenever you want and decide when you are going to open the presents that are mailed to you.)

And half of my life, I've lived with this guy, Sidney, A.K.A. the best birthday present I've ever gotten:

And now he's all grown-up:

So yeah, it's really weird to think about being sixteen years past my sixteenth birthday. I feel like I need do some major goal assessments and stuff because my life feels a little bit off track. But I'm trying not to let it bug me too much today. My birthday plan is to spend the day hanging with my husband, and while I work tonight, since I do work at a bar, I can kind of turn work into a party. Plus I've gotten some great gifts. In addition to that Rancid album from my friend, my old roommate (who took that photo of Sid above) sent me an awesome slushee/snowcone maker, my mom bought tickets for the two of us to see the original version of Grease (I recently found out that it was based on a Chicago high school and that Broadway and the movie cut out a lot of the local references and raunchier parts, so I'm dying to see what the uncut play will be like!), and I know all you book lovers will appreciate this. My husband is going to build me a massive bookshelf!

I'll be sure to let you know how Grease and the bookshelf turn out, but now I'm feeling uncomfortable and awkward about calling attention to my birthday here, so please since that Cracker song does say, "Happy Birthday to me and to you," tell me about your favorite birthday present or song or party. Also do you love birthdays or feel a little shy about them like I do?