I once told my wife that if I were Suzanne Collins, I'd write a prequel to The Hunger Games to tell about how Panem came to be.
No, scratch that. If I were Suzanne Collins, I'd roll around naked on a huge bed of money.
Quotations from the Chairman. Yes, he murdered hundreds of thousands of Chinese. But he had the good sense to write a book and make its purchase mandatory. To this day, it tops lists of the bestsellers of all time. That's a lot of yuan.
Now my church always says that it is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. That being said, I also kind of wish I'd written...
Dianetics. But not his other stuff. Especially not his science fiction. If you want to know what makes a great SF story, it's not lots and lots of necrophilia. Dear God...
Now my life as a school librarian isn't that exciting, but I shouldn't let that stand in the way of a great memoir.
Maybe everything in the book is total BS, but it still sold a lot of copies. Maybe he sold out his integrity, but it sure paid well.
Also, I've always admired Tractmaster Jack Chick:
He's sold millions of these little religious comic books. It's not like I'm NOT going to hell anyway.
Finally, I wish I'd penned this gem:
Feeling a little cynical tonight, Brian?