Thursday, August 28, 2014

Beginnings (by Margie Gurevich Gelbwasser)

A few months ago I quit my job to write full time. I was ready. I was excited. I was gung-ho to start anew and finally make my dreams a reality. And I still am. Usually.

Sometimes, though, this fear of "What if I don't make it?" "What if things don't work out?" runs through my head. It's normal. I know that. But that doesn't mean I like it. Writing and dreams are funny things. I can do all possible on my end, but there are things in this business that are out of my hands.

So what do I do when the fears get too noisy? I think of why I'm embarking on this journey. Why now? Truth is, I've tried this before, but each time I had a little amount of success, I'd think it wasn't enough and look for a "real" job. This may sound hokey, but I believe in the universe working with me, listening to my thoughts. And by looking for a "real" job, the universe was all like, "Huh. I guess writing is not her real job. Pause."

Last year, I had thought about going back to school for another teaching degree. I started classes and got stressed out and depressed because there was no time to write. Finally, my patient husband said, "What are you doing? If writing is what you really want to do, stop making excuses. Own it. Call yourself a writer and stop looking for other careers." He was right. It got me thinking. That was all I ever wanted to do. And I've never been truly happy giving my all to another field.

So he and I talked and talked and talked. We planned. It's all about new beginnings this year. I have a series out with Capstone now. It's an MG called Chloe by Design, and that's new for me because it's my first MG. The second book comes out in February. I'm also working on another YA I hope to find an agent with. I have more ideas for MGs and YAs, and the difference this year is that I can fully focus on all my projects.

My goal is to make this beginning the start of something amazing. The path I was meant to be on all along.

Wish me luck. :-)

12 comments:

  1. Wow, I feel like you looked inside my brain because I've had all these thoughts and feelings, right down to seriously looking into getting another teaching degree because writing isn't a "real job" and having that same conversation with my husband. I took this leap in January and have ups and downs of thinking it's the right thing to burying myself in immense doubts. Get in touch if you want to talk more/share moral support! My contact info is on the "About Us" page.

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  2. Congratulations on the series; that's awesome! And graduate school and teaching are definitely stressful and time-consuming; that's been my life for years, and I'm lucky if I get to write fiction more than a few hours a week, unfortunately.

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  3. Good luck, Margie and congrats on the MG series! I've been there. This year, I've promised to start telling people I work from home every day and I'm an author. Because it is real job and it's time that I own it.

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  4. Congrats on your new books, Maggie! I totally relate to what you went through making this decision. I wrote for years but it was more of a hobby that always got pushed down the list. When we moved and I let my teaching certification lapse, it seemed like it would feel risky and scary, but I actually felt relief. Finally I was doing what I wanted to do all along.

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  5. I quit my day job to write full-time last September, so I know the feeling! Although most of my writing is freelance--articles and blogs and such. I still haven't found a way to make a full-time living writing fiction, but hopefully I'll get enough books going that I can. The publishing process is just too slow to keep up with me!

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  6. This is SO familiar, Maggie. It's funny how we have to decide we are Writers first, before anyone else can anoint us as such. Did the same kind of wrangling and machinating before I came to the conclusion your husband did. Wasted years, really. I'm glad I'm on the other side of them, and that you are, too.

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  7. MARGIE. Not Maggie! Whoops, my apologies!

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  8. It already IS the start of something amazing. Congrats, Margie.

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  9. Shoot! I wrote Maggie too. Margie. Margie. Margie. Sorry!

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  10. Thank you all so much for the support!! It's so good to know others feel the same way. And, Margie, Maggie, whatevs! All good!

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  11. Aw, this is great! So so happy for you! I'm very close to making that plunge and found this incredibly helpful to the fears I'm facing. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  12. Congrats on making the switch to full time!

    Yvonne

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