Least Cliche' Author Ever, by Brian Katcher (contest for a free book!)

 

 Every story we write, no matter how original, has been told before. Every one. There are really one about a dozen general plot out there.

But there's one author who always manages to take me by surprise and come up with an original plot. Every time. Every time. 

Here are the summaries of some of his books (though not his most well known novel). Can you figure out who I'm talking about with a minimum of googling?

*A supermodel who has lost her lower jaw in a drive by shooting goes on a crime spree with a transwoman. They are both unaware they used to be brother and sister.

*A fourteen-year-old girl dies in an accident and finds herself in hell. Hell is filled with discarded candy. The gross kind. Licorice bits and stuff like that.

*A kid from a nameless foreign country is adopted by an American family who is unaware he's a spy. The entire book is written in broken English.

*A guy figures out that if you deliberately infect yourself with rabies and then go for a long drive and you start operating on autopilot, you can achieve the perfect mental state that allows you to time travel. He prevents her own birth which makes him immortal, and then uses eternity to compete in good-natured urban demolition derbies.

*A dozen or so people lock themselves in an abandoned theater, telling their life stories while chopping off their own body parts to eat (while they're surrounded by food). You will become physically ill when reading the swimming pool scene.

*A cult member records his story while riding on a doomed plane with his psychic girlfriend.

So who is this master of the original plot? The first one to answer in the comments section gets a copy of my new book, THE IMPROBABLE THEORY OF ANA AND ZAK.