I Crush Your Head (Brian Katcher)





There was a time I would have rather have thrown myself on a grenade than face the terror of talking to a real life human female. I was thirteen when I first asked out a girl (she said no). I didn't have the nerve to try again for two years.

But during those rough junior high years, I did have my teen fantasy women. After watching The Day After, it occurred to me that I really stood a chance with any woman in the world, provided we were the last two people on earth.

 In no particular order:


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Molly Ringwald

I think a lot of guys shared this crush with me. While she was never a huge sex symbol, I think that was part of her draw. She looked like someone you might have gone to high school with. Cute, but not totally out of one's league.


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Cybil Shepherd

Star of TVs Moonlighting along with Bruce Willis, she was a former beauty queen who once dated Elvis. I remember calculating our age differences and deciding that when I was 18 and she was 42, it could totally work.

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 The chicks from the 'Simply Irresistible' video

Completely interchangeable gorgeous women. Yep, that's how I viewed females in 7th grade.


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Kelly LeBrock

Beautiful in her own right, she was the star of Weird Science, a movie about a couple of nerds who create a virtual woman to be their personal plaything. I think I was intrigued by the science and moral implications of the film.

Others: Brooke Shields,  Erin Grey, Suzanne Somers, Melanie Griffith, Christina Applegate, Kim Bassinger and Vanna White.


 I've matured considerably over the past few decades. As a boy, I judged women solely on their looks. As I matured, I realized that the only women worth pursuing are those who are intelligent, kind, and exist in real life.


Comments

  1. I just rewatched Pretty in Pink (although I was looking at Andrew McCarthy, not Molly Ringwald) and saw Weird Science for the first time a few months ago. Classic guy crushes! If I were a guy, Melanie Griffith's voice would drive me crazy, and not in a good way, but perhaps she has other redeeming virtues. :-)

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  2. Sadly, I was a teen at a time when crushes were illegal. (shows my age).

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    1. It was tongue in cheek. We barely had TV or movie theaters in rural Maine back when I was a teen and I was into science fiction and horror movies. Somehow Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte didn't inspire any hot feelings about the main female lead.

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  3. Wow, it amazes me how much importance we attached to the act of speaking to a potential love interest when we were teens. One group working up courage, the other hoping and wishing they would. This is one of those classic proofs -- the 'youth is wasted on the young' theorem.

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  4. What an eclectic list of crushes, Brian! Sadly, we all, girls and boys, judged people on their looks at that age, didn't we? I remember a guy friend saying how hot the Simply Irresistible chicks were, except the one on the end, who was too fat! Ah, callow youth.

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  5. When MOONLIGHTING was on, I wanted to grow up to look like Cybil Shepherd.

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    1. I wanted to look like Mr. T. I would have settled for Cybil, though.

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