Friday, December 29, 2017

Are There No Prisons? Are There No Work Houses? by Brian Katcher

Image result for scrooge 

That's my favorite line from A Christmas Carol. Scrooge says it when asked to make a donation for the needy. An unfortunately, that's kind of the attitude of the day. People are getting meaner and the world is getting more divided. People are insulting their opponents like a bunch of ignorant poop heads. Leaders advocate violence until I just want to bash their stupid heads in. We refuse to listen to the point of view of others and I wish people like that would shut their mouths already. 

Fortunately, it's a new year. Rather than pretend you're going to lose weight or give up that cock fighting ring, resolve to make the world a better place. Do more community service hours than the judge mandated. Don't call in sick unless you actually are ill or really hungover. Tell yourself that it's only a game and, while throwing that chair may feel good, the players really are just kids and don't mind that the ref is a blind dumbass with excrement for brains.

Remember, Alfred Nobel founded this famous prizes (the Alphies) after inventing high explosives. So, like, you can cause the deaths of thousands of people, and still be remembered as a peacemaker.

In conclusions, I managed to get tickets to Hamilton this year, so I'm pretty happy.

Oh, gifts. Whoever makes me laugh the hardest in the comments will get one of my books for free. Well, some sort of book, anyway.

Humbug.


4 comments:

  1. I read that as "excitement for brains", because I had been spending my time around a very enthusiastic and impulsive person - who wasn't me! And that's what all referees and umpires should have and sporting officials too.

    And yay for those Hamilton tickets.

    if Scrooge were around in the 21st century he would say "It's only a prison or a workhouse if you want it to be." The ultimate victim-blamer.

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  2. Brian,
    Today's Bangor Daily news front page features this headline: Maine's Top Stories of the Year. the graphic is an outline of the state and four photos: a rabid skunk, Susan Collins, Stephen King and a bottle of Poland Spring water. That about sums up 2017 here in the economic desert of the U.S. Happy New Year--if we survive.

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  3. “[E]very idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!”

    Nice post, and yay on Hamilton!

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  4. Not sure I can make you laugh with my comment, but you sure as hell made me laugh with your post. "Ignorant poop heads" for the win!

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