Ya want New Do Ya?



John Clark here thinking about this month’s topic-trying the new. I have a slight disadvantage when it comes to comparing myself with most of the other regulars here. Dirt thinks I’m an older relative. I swear every time I walk past a pile it says “Hi, Dad.” It might have something to do with turning 75 in early March. Well, the body will, the mind seems to be stuck somewhere around eighteen.

Even so, there are some painful realities limiting my trying a few new things. Two falls in the last 18 months mean climbing trees, rock faces and mountains are probably not a good idea. Ditto bungee jumping, going under a limbo stick, and skateboarding are things my wife would frown upon. We already have an agreement, no ladders unless she’s steadying it.

Fortunately, my brain is more agile than ever, possibly because of exercise and a constant diet of new fiction and joke creation. I’m also fortunate to have a terrific ‘place of power’, the therapy pool at the Harold Alfond Youth Center a mile from our home. I’m in it ten hours a week unless something comes up and it’s the best spot for creativity I’ve ever found.

These were considered but quickly discarded


A-put a camel through the eye of a needle...Nope, they spit too much.

B-count angels on the head of a pin...Again nope, even after cataract surgery, my eyesight ain’t that good, and I hear angels are wicked fidgety.

C-star in my own reality show….Nope, nope, and nope. I don’t believe in reality.

I spent the first hour this morning figuring out what to put in this post and came up with five things I’d like to try in 2023.

1-Thirty years ago, while on a family walk, my niece, Jessica saw several animals. Each time she asked me if they might eat her. I’d come back with a question like “are you a pine cone?, are you a cattail?, etc. and each time she’d say no, to which I’d reply, “Then I guess you’re safe.” I told her I’d turn that walk into a children’s book, but never did. It’s time to remedy that.

2-I’d like to challenge myself by participating in a poetry slam.


3-I’d also like to challenge myself to try stand-up comedy. I’m likely to make a fool of myself, but I’d still have fun.

4-I’d like to make a big-ass rock sculpture on the family farm. I’ve made small ones by a remote waterfall, but this time I want one as tall as I am.


5-I want to spend a full day wearing a kilt.

Stay tuned to see how many of these get done in 2023.


  1. You have GOT to write that children's book!

  2. I also want to try stand up comedy. I am NOT funny, though, so that's probably a disadvantage. ~Patty b.

  3. Ditto on the children's book!


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