Growing Up Hard (Mary Strand)

This month at YA Outside the Lines, we're talking about our biggest misconceptions about adulthood from back when we were teens ... and how and when we later realized that our preconceived ideas had been wrong. And for bonus points, how this has affected our writing: especially our writing of YA (young adult) novels.

In truth, I'm a wee bit stumped on this one. I don't remember many misconceptions. I worked hard as a teen, especially in sports. (If you don't think hitting tennis balls BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH, for five hours a day is hard, try it sometime. I dare you.) And I decided in high school that I'd go to law school, so I worked hard to get into college, and to pay for college, and then hard to get into law school. I frankly always viewed life as hard, and I assumed that would continue. I wasn't wrong.

Sure, hitting-tennis-balls hard and hitting-law-books hard are two very different things. But they're both intense. My whole life has been intense. Yes, my work life now is writing books and songs, recording albums, and playing gigs, but if you don't think it's hard or intense, and often longer hours than I worked practicing law, go for it. I dare you. I'm about to release my third album in four years, and next year we're already planning to release my fourth album. It's a LOT. My to-do list is terrifying, even on weekends.

Weekends! What a concept! I'm writing this blog, in fact, on a Sunday.

I do think I tend to avoid misconceptions and preconceived ideas, at least in part, because I've always read a lot of books and also watched a lot of movies about people, places, and things that are foreign to my own experience. And I travel a lot. I pay attention. And I tend to think most things EXIST, at least in some realm, even if I haven't experienced them yet.

So I'm pretty much making a hash of this month's blog topic. Except for one thing.

I'll just say it: my biggest misconception as a teen was that I never expected my knees to fail me, to cause me pain on a regular basis, and to curtail so many of my sports. THAT has been the single biggest issue of my life. Oh, and then I wrecked my shoulder beyond belief in a scooter crash four years ago. But for those who try to keep hope and faith alive: yesterday I played tennis, and I whacked the hell out of the ball. And shockingly well! Yes, it was only for 15 minutes or so, but even a year ago that would've been unthinkable.

But basketball (my greatest love in life) is gone for good, except in my driveway, and in the past year I've also given up rollerblading and my softball team, because I can't risk injury when I have upcoming gigs to play. I didn't waterski this summer, either: even my husband (aka my boat driver) said I couldn't risk it when I had gigs scheduled. (What a rat!) (Not that he was wrong.) (But what a rat!)

I'm actually glad no one warned me about this part of adulthood, but it truly sucks. And I don't think I ever mention wrecked knees and shoulders in my YA novels. Gotta let kids have hope for their future!

Oh, and one final misconception as a teen: I think I assumed I'd have WEEKENDS as an adult. Damn!

Mary Strand is the author of Pride, Prejudice, and Push-Up Bras and three other novels in the Bennet Sisters YA series. You can find out more about her books and music at marystrand.com.