What Matters The Most But Nobody Ever Says It by Patty Blount

 Hello! 

This brand new grandmother is full of joy and -- as it turns out -- wisdom. This month, we're blogging about insecurities. 

So...I thought I'd post some advice I'd give to my granddaughter. *deep breath* Here we go...

My darling Chloe, 

Since the beginning of time, being born female has always come with fear, insecurity, and -- well, danger. But being a girl is also filled with incredible joy. The former tends to overshadow the latter and that's what I want to talk to you about today. 

You see, girls are still being raised to want things like marriage and children and running a household. There's nothing inherently wrong with these things...it's just that this is not all there is. Life goes by fast, Chloe. One minute, you're sitting in Daddy's lap and the next, you're holding your baby's baby in yours. It goes by so fast and that's why I want to tell you some important things. 

1. Know what you're worth: You are THE WOLRD, THE UNIVERSE to your parents, your grandparents, and the extended family. You are loved unconditionally. You never have to audition for us, change for us, or be someone you're not. I spent way too many years worried that if I spoke up, my parents wouldn't think I was a good girl, or if I was too loud, my family would think I was a brat. 

2. Choose happiness: That's right. Choose it. Happiness isn't a state, it's an act. When you choose happiness, you feel happy. I spent a long time worried I'd never find happiness until I realized it's not something you "find" like a lost puppy. It's something you simply do for yourself. 

3. Put yourself first: Speaking of yourself, you MATTER. Your health, your wellbeing, your peace. You matter. It's not only okay to put yourself first, but I highly recommend it, particularly if you choose marriage and motherhood because you cannot be good to them unless you're good to yourself first. I used to obsess that I wasn't a good mom because I wanted time alone once in a while. There is nothing wrong with this! We all need time to recharge. 

Everyone you meet will have expectations for you. But the only person you ever need to please is YOU. This is the one thing everybody gets wrong. YOU need to love yourself. Be your own best friend. Respect and admire yourself. When you do these things, the other stuff just happens automatically. 

I love you, sweet Chloe!