I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself A Letter


Dear Younger Self,

I doubt you’ll heed any of my wisdom, but I gotta try. I’ve been through all of this and have the physical and emotional scars to prove it, so listen up. There are lots of things I would have done differently, or not done at all. These are the biggies.

1-Don’t take yourself so seriously. I swear there are days when you make Grannie Grunt look like a howling hyena because you’re so tightly wound. Along with that, get over yourself and try new things just because they’re fun. Being instantly good at anything (except maybe getting drunk), is next to impossible

2-Take a good, long look at your parents and then ask Dick G. if he’ll take you to an AA meeting. By doing so you’ll save years of pain and humiliation.

3-Quit smoking….Nuf said.

4-Buy a flat file and use it on your tongue. There’s a world of difference between funny and mean funny. At this age, you’re the latter.

5-Start saving all your silver dimes, quarters, half dollars, and dollars. You’ll be glad you did down the road.

6-Take care of baseball cards and comic books. Folks will pay big bucks for them in the future.

7-Gather your courage and ask Welcome Fish to go out with you. She might say no, but if she says yes, maybe she doesn’t get married a year later and be killed in an auto accident.

8-Start writing. Don’t wait until you’re in your forties to do so. No idea is ever wasted.

9-Look beneath the surface of other kids at school. No kid ever woke up and said, “I think I’ll go to school dirty and hungry.” Some of them have no choice and empathy and compassion are renewable.

10-Sit at a different table at lunch and greet other kids by name, then pay attention. Good listeners are always in short supply.

11-Keep these stocks in mind and but then as soon as they hit the market: Berkshire Hathaway, Apple, Amazon, and Google.

This last one will seem heretical and didn’t occur to me until I hit 74. Don’t go to college. Join the coast Guard instead and put your twenty years in. Then figure out what you want to be when you grow up.

Good Luck,



Your older self.


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