On Surviving Trauma by Jody Casella

The funny thing is you didn't know it was the worst.

That time you had a tantrum in the middle of the night and she hit you, screaming at you to shut up, hitting your so hard you couldn't breathe, screaming yourself, and then going quiet, going still

making yourself small, smaller, until suddenly you weren't even there.
A miracle, really, a great gift, when you think about it,
to be able go away like that, disappear.

The time when he came into your room at night because you were scared
of the dark and he could help you go to sleep, help you
feel better

that time, other times, you don't even remember how many times
because you were good at it by then, an expert
at going away, disappearing whenever you needed to.

The trick is learning that you're doing it, learning how to stop,
because listen:

You don't need to disappear anymore. You survived the worst.
Now is the time to stay here.

Make noise. Fight back.