When the Worst Happens by Patty Blount
There’s an old saying, You
can’t direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails. It’s always struck me
as stupid…yeah, yeah, silver lining, glass half-full. But like most old
sayings, you find yourself quoting it when something terrible happens.
If you’ve read the other essays posted here by this amazing
group of authors I still can't believe I get to work with, you’ll have noticed a trend… “worst” is a relative – and therefore,
subjective – term. No matter how bad things are, they CAN (and often do) get even worse.
But we’re still here.
That’s a significant statement – especially coming from me,
because I’m not a silver lining, glass half-full person. I tend to wallow and
mope when I’m confronted by worse stuff.
That statement is full of something I usually think I’ve lost whenever something bad
happens – and that’s hope.
Hope, I’ve discovered, is not simply this amorphous concept
people order you not to lose when you’re upset. No, it’s a driving force, maybe even a
magical power (I’m entirely serious!) that most of us don’t – can’t -- fully
appreciate until we’re forced to face its absence.
Two years ago, my niece got sick. She had a cold with a
fever. Nothing to be concerned about – just the same sort of malady that
strikes millions each day. Except she wasn’t recovering as fast. Now there’s
concern. One day, when she discovered a lump on her neck near her collarbone, concern shot
straight into red-line levels of worry.
My sister is divorced and lives out of state. She called me,
too hysterical to be understood, from the shoulder of the road she was driving when
the pediatrician called with The Worst Possible News.
Cancer. Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
My niece had just turned thirteen years old.
Have you ever seen someone you love die? It’s the most
horribly human thing we must face… the end of a life we love. I watched my
mother die of complications from her breast cancer treatment. It’s miserable
knowing that your money, your IQ, your education, your physical strength, your
achievements – NONE of these things can stop that inevitable progression to the
end. All you can do is love anyway.
Mom had passed only three years earlier. So her ordeal was
still way too fresh in our minds when Jennifer was diagnosed. When a
thirteen-year-old child asks, “Am I going to die?” – yeah, that's a perfect example of The
Worst Thing That Can Happen.
Except it isn’t. Because you know, Murphy’s Law dictates more
things will go wrong. For my sister, it meant dealing with her despicable
ex-husband who said, “This is your fault.” As if cancer is something you get from using the wrong brand of soap or something. It meant fighting with a bank that wanted to start foreclosure proceedings
on her house because that same despicable ex-husband would not cough up a
single extra dime after my sister took a leave of absence from her job to ferry
their daughter to and from her chemotherapy and radiation appointments. It
meant fighting with herself after panic attacks all but prevented her from
driving beyond that road where they’d first heard the diagnosis.
You hate it, you hate every single circumstance that led to this, but you fight. You find the strength to keep a
thirteen-year-old from freaking out even when you’re so tired, you’re slurring
your words. You fight through red tape and vengeful ex-husbands and a dozen
other things that might have made you stumble before but now don’t even signify
as obstacles. This is where hope lives… inside the hearts of those facing A Worst Thing That Could Happen that is
simply too horrible to imagine.
My niece spent a year fighting through chemotherapy’s side
effects and then radiation’s. She’s endured broken friendships and the loss of
the Daddy will do anything for me belief
she once held. But she’s here. She’s healthy and she’ll be fifteen in a few
days.
There's a lot wrong with our country, with our society. But I don't say I've "lost hope" anymore. I've learned that hope is something you have to make. It takes action. Dedication and commitment.
It takes work.
I learned these lessons from a little girl and her mom.
Amazing story and demonstration of what hope REALLY is. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteJust shed a few tears. Tell you niece HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ReplyDeleteThe past two years have been like this for me, and this is so true. The worse things get, then the more you need resiliency and hope. It is only over when we lose hope. This is a very relatable and touching post for me. Best wishes to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank God your niece is okay and big thanks to you and your sister for inspiring us to fight and hope.
ReplyDeleteThank you all! I'll pass along the birthday wishes to Jennifer.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Patty, for sharing this so beautifully!! Sending love and continued prayers to your niece and I'm so happy to hear she's doing well! xo
ReplyDelete