A month of nostalgia, remembrance, and triple-fudge brownies (plus a longing for Rover Bagels)

In the month of May, a month of remembrance (and our topic for this round), there are so many things to pay respect to, feel nostalgic about, and so many people to remember. Below is just a sampling of things I’m reflecting on this month:

 

1.     Our service men and women. In the month of May, I’m always thinking about those who’ve sacrificed – and continue to sacrifice – their time and lives for our country. 

 

2.     The loss of time. It truly does fly by. May is a month in which I take the time – and headspace – to honor the preciousness of life, because it is so fleeting. 

 

3.     Family members – those I never got to meet or who passed when I was really young, like my grandmother, who died when I was nine. I miss her fried-egg sandwiches (even though I no longer eat eggs), and playing cards with her in her peppermint-smelling living room.

 

4.     Rover Bagel. Silly but true; I’m a bit of a bagel connoisseur, and Rover Bagel used to have the very best bagels – Montreal-style (but even better than actual Montreal bagels because I’ve sampled those too). Crunchy on the outside, doughy on the inside, coated in perfectly toasted sesame seeds, and baked in a brick oven. Sadly, Rover Bagel went out of business several years ago. I miss them dearly.

 

5.     I’m feeling nostalgic about triple fudge brownies. I used to make them with my older son when he was little. I made them again recently and they brought me right back to those afternoons in the kitchen, elbow-deep in batter, when he’d get so excited about baking with his mom. He’s eighteen now and wants nothing to do with baking, sadly. I miss those “baking” times: decorating Easter eggs, taking him to the park, teaching him to ride a bike, watching his soccer games… He was always so excited about everything. But, as much as I miss that little guy, I’m so happy for the adult he’s become, and so happy he’s happy.

 

6.     I’m thinking about my mom and our relationship. I’m so lucky to still have her in my life; I remind myself of that nearly every day. She’s 84, and we still chat every day and I visit her often. But, I miss our day-long shopping sprees, our hours of conversation, and the power walks we used to take. 

 

7.     I’m remembering a very close family friend, one of the most generous, selfless women I knew. We had kids around the same time and we lived on the same street – twice – having moved near one another more than once. She passed just after Christmas this past year – and the loss totally hit me from the side.

 

8.     I’m remembering the loss of another friend whose daughter just went to her junior prom. Life is so short. Hug your people. Honor each day.  

 

9.     I’m thinking about the loss of innocence. Growing up, school doors, while school was in session, were never locked (at least, not where I went to school), but now it’s a necessity. We live in a world where we can no longer take for granted that schools are going to be a safe place after drop-off, that desks are not just used as a surface for writing (but as fortresses as well). We can no longer keep the entrance doors open to let the fresh air in on bright, sunny days.  And, as we all know, it’s not just schools that have proven vulnerable to acts of violence and terror. Malls, nightclubs, churches, universities, and other places of business have also been targeted. 

 

10.  Covid has also brought a loss of innocence. Gatherings, these past few years, for many, came with the fear (and in many cases the reality) of becoming gravely ill and/or passing that illness on to others. I’m thinking about the people who’ve lost loved ones due to Covid these past few years. 

 

11.  I’m remembering how my younger son used to hide behind my leg nearly everywhere we went; he’s 15 now and publicly displaying his art, showing himself in the bravest, most amazing ways. 

 

12.  Traveling. I’m thinking a lot about trips I’ve taken, as a family as well as on my own. Each trip has touched my life in meaningful ways. I love seeing new things; meeting people; gaining perspective; talking to readers, authors, and aspiring writers... Covid had pretty much halted traveling for a couple of years, but I’m looking forward to doing more of it very soon.

What (or who) are you reflecting on, feeling nostalgic about, and/or remembering this 

month?