A few months ago I quit my job to write full time. I was ready. I was excited. I was gung-ho to start anew and finally make my dreams a reality. And I still am. Usually.
Sometimes, though, this fear of "What if I don't make it?" "What if things don't work out?" runs through my head. It's normal. I know that. But that doesn't mean I like it. Writing and dreams are funny things. I can do all possible on my end, but there are things in this business that are out of my hands.
So what do I do when the fears get too noisy? I think of why I'm embarking on this journey. Why now? Truth is, I've tried this before, but each time I had a little amount of success, I'd think it wasn't enough and look for a "real" job. This may sound hokey, but I believe in the universe working with me, listening to my thoughts. And by looking for a "real" job, the universe was all like, "Huh. I guess writing is not her real job. Pause."
Last year, I had thought about going back to school for another teaching degree. I started classes and got stressed out and depressed because there was no time to write. Finally, my patient husband said, "What are you doing? If writing is what you really want to do, stop making excuses. Own it. Call yourself a writer and stop looking for other careers." He was right. It got me thinking. That was all I ever wanted to do. And I've never been truly happy giving my all to another field.
So he and I talked and talked and talked. We planned. It's all about new beginnings this year. I have a series out with Capstone now. It's an MG called Chloe by Design, and that's new for me because it's my first MG. The second book comes out in February. I'm also working on another YA I hope to find an agent with. I have more ideas for MGs and YAs, and the difference this year is that I can fully focus on all my projects.
My goal is to make this beginning the start of something amazing. The path I was meant to be on all along.
Wish me luck. :-)