I Crush Your Head (Brian Katcher)

There was a time I would have rather have thrown myself on a grenade than face the terror of talking to a real life human female. I was thirteen when I first asked out a girl (she said no). I didn't have the nerve to try again for two years.

But during those rough junior high years, I did have my teen fantasy women. After watching The Day After, it occurred to me that I really stood a chance with any woman in the world, provided we were the last two people on earth.

 In no particular order:

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Molly Ringwald

I think a lot of guys shared this crush with me. While she was never a huge sex symbol, I think that was part of her draw. She looked like someone you might have gone to high school with. Cute, but not totally out of one's league.

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Cybil Shepherd

Star of TVs Moonlighting along with Bruce Willis, she was a former beauty queen who once dated Elvis. I remember calculating our age differences and deciding that when I was 18 and she was 42, it could totally work.

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 The chicks from the 'Simply Irresistible' video

Completely interchangeable gorgeous women. Yep, that's how I viewed females in 7th grade.

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Kelly LeBrock

Beautiful in her own right, she was the star of Weird Science, a movie about a couple of nerds who create a virtual woman to be their personal plaything. I think I was intrigued by the science and moral implications of the film.

Others: Brooke Shields,  Erin Grey, Suzanne Somers, Melanie Griffith, Christina Applegate, Kim Bassinger and Vanna White.

 I've matured considerably over the past few decades. As a boy, I judged women solely on their looks. As I matured, I realized that the only women worth pursuing are those who are intelligent, kind, and exist in real life.


  1. I just rewatched Pretty in Pink (although I was looking at Andrew McCarthy, not Molly Ringwald) and saw Weird Science for the first time a few months ago. Classic guy crushes! If I were a guy, Melanie Griffith's voice would drive me crazy, and not in a good way, but perhaps she has other redeeming virtues. :-)

  2. Sadly, I was a teen at a time when crushes were illegal. (shows my age).

    1. It was tongue in cheek. We barely had TV or movie theaters in rural Maine back when I was a teen and I was into science fiction and horror movies. Somehow Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte didn't inspire any hot feelings about the main female lead.

  3. Wow, it amazes me how much importance we attached to the act of speaking to a potential love interest when we were teens. One group working up courage, the other hoping and wishing they would. This is one of those classic proofs -- the 'youth is wasted on the young' theorem.

  4. What an eclectic list of crushes, Brian! Sadly, we all, girls and boys, judged people on their looks at that age, didn't we? I remember a guy friend saying how hot the Simply Irresistible chicks were, except the one on the end, who was too fat! Ah, callow youth.

  5. When MOONLIGHTING was on, I wanted to grow up to look like Cybil Shepherd.

    1. I wanted to look like Mr. T. I would have settled for Cybil, though.


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